wow long time no talk

Wow its been a while since i have been to my blog alot has happened...I'm in college now and loving it.

I work with the football team and my boys are the defensive backs I love them and always will..

i have come to notice that life in college is completely different everything you knew is gone and you have to start completely from scratch...relationship wise and friend wise. The guys on the football team seem to really like me, and my fellow co workers hate that. They make jokes about how I only talk to black people...Doesnt bother me not like i haven't heard that one before.

well i Kinda am in a friend benefit thing with one of the running backs but you find really quick that a feeling a being used can come on pretty quickly in college..so that is getting pretty old...but if it came down to it i know that he would be there for me...However there is another guy one of my DBs first time I have ever felt like this guy is someone to good for me to date which scares me...we hangout alot i guess you could say and its nice....yea I like him alot but I'm just trying to go with the flow and b myself.

other guys try to get my attention but I'm just not that interested... Oh and its also weird to me that all the guys think of sex when they see me....so word of advice don't be a mentor to college guys and their sex life cause thats how they will see u.

motto of the day:

life is a beach i'm just playing in the sand

peace ky

retarded

So out of anger I go to delete Aaron from my friends on facebook thinking it would make me feel better ha so i imediately friend request back ha he rejected me lol whatever ha I'm leaving saturday for college and hopefully don't have to think about him anymore...so maybe it's a good thing he didn't add me I don't know.

But yes I leave for college saturaday and to be honest I really can't wait my life here is kind of falling apart all my really close friends don't live near me and I'm ready to get away from certain people in my house it seems like these two days can't go fast enough.

Summer has been pretty fun though its kinda weird that it's ending I feel like I should be going back to high school its wiggin me out like for reall..

motto of the day:

you can't take me I'm free

peace ky

kick off

Well summer is definetly in full swing at work i was the only one who new how to screen print so i screen printed the front and back of 27 shirts it was longgggg..

Saturday our high school group iis leaving to go to fun n' the son in south padre island texas for a week it should be fun I'm excited...

I find myself becoming more and more bitter and falling away from myself.....I'm trying to get back to myself which I think this trip will help me with..

when we get back from that I have another trip with our jr. high and then i come back and I'm gone for college...

I finally found out my roommates name Chrystal Ortego sounds cool my friends are trying to guess her race which is quite entertaining.....I'm just really hoping we get along since we are going to be living together....well it would be nice if she would write back to my email but we will see..

motto of the day

its all in gods hands

peace ky

battle of the sexes

Well  Aaron is finally gone last time we hung out was actually good but I'm happy I don't have to deal wit him again.. now I'm just waiting for the senior high trip to start next saturday..

It has come to my attention that there is an ongoing battle between boys and gurls about who should take the blame...this is my look on it both sides have their problems and it should be equal and an understanding but there never is..

one of my friends had to bring up adam and eve and they started going at it and im sitting there thinking first ignorant people secondly they forgot an important part of the curse..after the apple was eaten God cursed women with always Having to please the man so of course when they spend a relationship trying to do that and it doesn't work out they are going to want to blame someone....and when A gurl actually admits  that they were in the wrong the boy usually blows it out of proportion which makes girls never want to admit things....and lastly guys if its not true then you shouldn't care cause its a lie right? and the polite thing for a guy to do or what a gentleman would do is take the blame or humiliation from the gurl...people make mistakes when are both sexes going to realize that lol....

finally there is ultimately one person out there for each of us and they will both meet your expectations and not....and yes guys believe it or not you will bend over backwards for that girl..

motto of the day:

i may be worn out but i'm going all in

peace ky

the second time around

So Aaron is back in the picture but its a lil different this time around. I went to football practice a few days ago and this is the first time hes seen me since school and so I dunno what it was but that afternoon he text me saying we gotta hangout...well he leaves for cali on thursday for a month by the time hes back I will be gone for college.


The difference this time around is that my emotions aren't involved I really see that this is how we are going to be and we are to afraid to take that next step with a relationship....then I got frens saying y? are u talking to him again and another group saying if anyone you would be good for him......why is everything always so complicated with this guy lol whatever I'm letting life roll.


motto of the day:

get ur head out the clouds and see the reality of a situation


peace ky

excitment

so tomorrow starts the last week of kids camp which is exciting. It has been fun the kids are awesome.

jacolby is coming back from Jamiaca this week...oh so i realized i havent put a pic of him up yet so yall know who he is... thats him


aaron is out of the picture he's so immature at leaast jacolby keeps everything very real. lol he is persistent I will give him that. But with this one I refuse to give in emotionally thats for the best I think.


Because of college friends that i have lost touch wit are coming back together its awesome..I'm so excited to start college and leave this all behind finally.

peace ky

blehh

so i havent posted in a while life has been i lil crazy with kid kamp happening n me teaching three dance classes..

its funn though my two older classes are making up their own routines n they aare going pretty well..

boy update i brought jacolby to my ppl for the first time that was interesting. he had fun though and thats all that counts..i finally stood up to him and said I didn't want to do something which im proud of myself for cause i shouldn't feel guilty for doing it lol he wasnt very happy but he can get another gurl probably..so whatever...other than that it was really good to see him he does make me laugh.

well motto of the day:

the first shall b last

peace ky

almost there

so i just got back from orientation yesterday night...it was ...lonnnng. I'm seriously sad now that I didn't pursue doing sports in college I'm going to miss it. My DG leader was ballin' his name was leonard and he was just crazzy. When I finally got to meet the athletes is when I really became myself. I am just now ready for college summer really needs to end I'm excited.

I'm back to work kids camp this week and that is exciting but exhausting at the same time. counselor training today booo. lol

I miss jacolby he needs to come back into my life haha I'm just messing he never left we just haven't been able to hang because we are so busy we keep missing each other. he broke the state record in the 4x1 last weekend he's balling. but I MISS HIM!!!!

well thats about it

motto of the day:

DG number 13 my life up


peace ky

Summer

Well summer has definetly started first week was last week on wednesday we had a meeting with another churchs leader staff and basically told our whole life stories...it was a different experience to say hi my name is kylie let me tell you my life story kinda thing...but at the same time it was great.

so the youth have already finished their first event this summer and that was the dinner theater they performed two nights..i made the dance for it and played in the band so that was fun..

30 hour famine is underway it starts on friday morning the youth is fasting for 30 hours to raise money for starving kids...we are ending it at a lakehouse to finish the weekend it should be fun they do service projects throughout it.


on top of that i'm trying to avoid those freshman 15 so far i have only gained a pound and a half which is cool  but that is as far as it needs to go.

I'm pretty fed up with how the whole society is anti-single life..it's like if your single its a bad thing...there is nothing wrong with being single you should be able to enjoy it not dread it and then just strive to be in a relationship and date the totally wrong guy..

there is also a trend now-a-days with cheating both ways girls and guys it's retarded i have been cheated on i know how it feels and i would never want to do that to a person i care about...but people today have turned into this well he did it to me so im getting even....or they take the experience and it messes them up and they don't know how to handle being in relationships anymore....why can't there just be a good guy out there..

motto of the day:

So you've pulled away from the love that wou'd've been there, You start believin' that your situation's unfair
But there's always scars, When you fall back far

peace ky

Its one of those days...

How can yesterday have been so fun with going to cafe du monde with a bunch of my friends and walking around the quarter and bourbon..to this

I got in late last night so I was tired but didn't complain because its my job so why complain and be there. I worked for 7 hours today painting and making posters so I'm pretty tired.. Well I got to go home for about 30 minutes then back to practice in our band...And we are all doing great played a few songs and then we get to the new song and my brother starts yelling at me your not trying hard enough when Mr. Brian even said it was going to be hard...well I left I just couldn't take it so I left.

I'm so tired of all of this I have that annoying feeling and I don't know why..I just can't wait till july so I can leave for college..

I need to get away to bad everytime I take a trip it's with the people I deal with at home so it doesn't help my problem. I need a break from everyone

I'm trapped...


In relation to boys because I always have something about them well I'm chilling on them.


I do feel alone and I don't like that....but as you can tell yess it is just ONE OF THOSE DAYS!

sorry this is a downer

peace ky

GRADUATING!!

so tonight is graduation we had rehersal this morning and it was actually pretty fun...and as always I'm the one to get called out on dress code which was wack lol.
But I'm so happy to be done with high school.

In other news I got on skype last night to talk to my friend robert yea...it was interesting he was trying to get me to tell him i think he's attractive...but I'm not attracted to him lol I really just find myself only being attracted to black guys and an occasional white guy.

Well aaron update:
I think I am finally retracting on that relationship...I don't really want that I was just curious and so he wanted stuff and i wanted to use him. We will prob just stay friends because we are really great at that and its working. plus his standards sexually are just too high for me I am a newbe and he expects to much. And plus I want to know that the guy really likes me or loves me I think thats how it should be..

So I'm chilling on guys right now when I don't look is when I get the best so thats what I'm gonna do.

Well summer is basically here and there fore summer staff for the youth is getting together now..I love my job working with junior highers is great.

First thing I have to do is teach the dance class which should be awesome I pretty excited I'm doing alot of different things:

krumping
step
hip-hop
breaking
and a throw back day it should be sweet

motto of the day;

some say silence is golden...but i choose noise

peace ky

a few random things

Hung out with Jacolby again it was fun his cousin was there, he's pretty cool his name is teezy.


More important news well the CAVS lost to the celtics talk about upset...Lebron James is the best to me, and I disagree with everyone it is not all lebron's fault he is not the only person on the team. Sure he might be the only good player on the team, but basketball is a team sport. Every player has a bad game ok....Oh and Kobe is sooo not better he just has a team behind him. But I'm not hating Kobe is a good player.

As of now though I'm cheering for the celtics.

Annnd now the Aaron update:

Aaron updates are finally fun again lol.. the waiting game is over thank goodness.
well we are back into the kind of relationship we had before all this crap, which is nice. Do I trust him heell no lol but knowing he digs me is a nice feeling. I feel like this time around I will be able to be myself and not shy to the point where I wasn't myself.

But he text me yesterday and is coming to my grad party so thats a good sign.


oh and shout out to CHIOMA for following my blog thank you hopefully you like it.. :))

motto of the day:

so you can't stop the waves...well then learn to surf

peace ky

about to lose it

I can't even get into enjoying the no strings attached relationship I have with Jacolby because of Aaron

why do things always come together too late I hate it.

Jacolby surprisingly says he only wants to hook up with me... I think its bull I refuse to believe it. Plus every time I'm with him I just think of Aaron

hahaha this boy has got me hooked college needs to come faster

I also am just annoyed I feel trapped in my life right now stuck doing the same routine....I'm about to explode it's so frustrating.
I'm waiting for my life to begin and I'm stuck in a freaking rut right now..

I'm so ready to be away from home for a little while. And start over really I don't have to fight old demons and can just relax..

Well God has a plan and I have rebelled out now for a little while and i need to stop before I am hurt again...funny thing I never seem to learn my lesson the first time or second time with this lesson.

well I'm just rambling now.....if any of ya'll have had this feeling and read this feel free to write ur experiences.

no motto of the day today

peace ky

LOTS OF THINGS

Well i haven't posted in a while alot has happened actually wel the summer staff got together and swam and hungout in the sun.. one of our leaders Steve left yesterday to go help the oil spill.

My mom is in Europe she has been since last Wednesday it has been nice having her away because I know she is having so much fun..

I finally hung out with Jacolby it was actually enjoyable..I met a few of his cousins they were fun..well two of them were totally not there but it was funny. We were all laughing and hanging out they started freestyling it was great. I love that kind of enviornment..its so much fun. To be honest I really wasn't expecting to have that much fun..


Its still weird hanging out with other guys that aren't aaron....and that brings us to the aaron update lol:

he text me yesterday and we started playing around I was like oh u no u like me he goes you know u like me!
I was like yea
he was like why do you have to admit it now
I explained that it seemed like he was dun with me so i didn't want to look retarded
and he was like well your leaving
I said exactly why I didn't try
he said it sucks
...soooo basically we like each other but are afraid to date because of the circumstances

well he said we willl definetly hang out again which is good

Why now do I have to be leaving

meanwhile I got Jacolby telling me he wants me and only me lol I'm like your a sophmore ...ageee matters to me
Its just weird because I do like Aaron alot.

motto of the day:

you have to be sore to soar

peace ky

SCHOOLS OUT FOREVER

high school is over forever I'm so happy but sad I'm going to miss everyone.

The state track meet was off the chain, but long as hell and hotttt..

well Jacolby is actually a cool friend. He makes me laugh.


Aaron update:
I finally wrote to him cause I figured one day of school left whats to loose..so I asked him why he was so distant.

he actualy wrote back and he was sry he has just been stressed lately and I'm still his little dumb blonde I laughed.

Ok other than that life has been fun...all of you should see Iron man 2 it is off the chain!!!

peace ky

Weird Feeling

soo...

tomorrow is my last day of high school and I'm kinda sad for real..I'm going to miss alot of those people.

On another note State is thursday I'm am leaving early with Coach Wendt and Sierra at 10.

I'm really excited it should be fun especially because my best friend goes to LSU and that is where the meet is.

Well aaron update he is talking a little bit to me again at school to bad i have ONE DAMN DAY left lol.. He is a character and he's got me. But at least if things don't work out I dont have to see him again really...Too bad I want to

well i hope this is more exciting I feel like these are boring But summer is almost here and should be more entertaining.

motto of the day:

You were made to soar, to crash to earth, then to rise and soar again

peace ky

Whats new

Well I have three days of school left. which is pretty ballin' but weird at the same time I think I might actually miss high schoool. Even though its a physical and emotional grind.

well everytime one of my friends sees me in the hall at school they go you can call me jay coot hahaha. because the guy who was trying to get at me goes my name is jacolby cooper but u can call me jay coot lol we cracked up.

State is on thrusday the seniors are trying to get permission to drive up because we don't have school. So we could go right after our exams. But we got to get coach Landrum the AD to go for it.

News about aaron well its the same stuff. We will start having a good conversation and he will just stop lol its random....it's like he gets lost in talking to me that he realizes half way through the convo that hes mad at me ha....imaturity.

Well thats pretty much it right now not very exciting but oh well

TRACK MEETS

Ahh track meets they are so entertaining... We had the regional track meet yeasterday and I was there to stretch out anyone who needed it and do rub downs. I actually was pretty busy. The girls on my team like to try and holla at any cute guy they see walking by so when my friend walks up and asks this guy whos like buff and loooks like college and he said he was a freshman I couldn't help but bust out laughing lol. it was hilarious.

mean while this john curtis boy is trying to holla at me it was ridicuouls my friends thought it was funny so they told him my name and let him text homself from my frone I was like stop guyyys...lol this boy is a freshman I was like we gotta be friends thats all.


Ahh good news I think aaron might have been a little jealous becasue I did catch him looking at me and stuff...

It sucks so bad that that you can never get the attention of the guys you actually want lol..

speak of the devil this john curtis boy is texting me in class right now lol.

peace ky

STRANGE EVENTS

There has been a few things that have happened lately that have blown my mind.

1. Two weeks ago a guy named ryan that I was really close with and almost dated, but to be honest I still don't know what happened everything just spun out of control, and we arent friends anymore. I was really hurt he has caused me to not communicate very well cause he would manipulate everything I did or said to the point where I didn't even know what I was saying anymore...Well anyways he text me and was like I just want to say I'm sorry for everything I did to you i didn't know how bad I was hurting you and I won't forgive myself and he is thinking bout me..and all this stuff. I was liike wooaahh unexpected I told him no hard feelings and that put it in the past and hopefully we can be friends in college, because we are going to be at the same college. Down side his girlfriend hates me and hasn't even met me.

Well he ended up calling me and talking to me for a long time on the phone it was kind of nice because I do miss him.

2. Then this morning my ex boyfrind from freshman year writes to me saying sorry and that since me he hasn't had a good relationship and i was the best girl he had..and he isn't asking for me back that would be too much, but he just wants to hang out again...it's funny how things come back to you.. I don't know what god is doing but he is doing something.

anyways these two things have really blown my mind

motto of the day:

slow and steady wins the race

peace ky

p.s.- if anything extremely exciting happens today I will post it but I doubt it

eerrrghhh

I haven't posted in a bit which is weird today is extremely annoying. my mom is on my butt like nobodys business which is so aggravating. I can't wait till i get out of here.

Not to mention the new news is that my ex boyfriend is now living with us...don't get me wrong we are best friends but Now that he is living with us I am so annoyed with him.

note to girls don't bring a guy into your family unless you want them to stay there or you might end up with a situation like mine.

Jeez I actually feel better just writing that out.


well this is my last week of school and that is exciting, the juniors are really going to miss us seniors.

My mom then went off on me about how because I didn't say hi to bryce ( the ex) when I passed by him at school that makes me come off as heartless and its just not nice...I'm like I have seen him all day at school and I live with him...she continues by saying that she sees me do it all the time and thats why I will never have good friendships...What!??!? she never sees me at school with my friends and I just didn't think about saying hey to bryce so all my relationships won't last....hmmmm wow

ahhh I just want to talk to aaron he makes me laugh....  :)


motto of the day:

"great ball isn't it....impossible to dodge." -mr. magorium

INTERESTING

Today was interesting I talked to a girl last block that I never talk to her name is manuela and she is really cool.. I talked about like everything with her and she told me alot about herself which was cool.

I find that people who say they don't open up alot always open up to me the first time they talk to me.. It's cool but alot of responsibility.

So yes, I know ya'll couldn't wait lol.....the aaron update :)

I think things are getting a little better my guy friends have officially told e that the reason that he probably acted like this in the first place is that I called him out on something he really does.

They also said I'm not like every girl..(which was weird hering that from my guy friends cause idk we are friends)...and that I shouldn't settle for that. They told me what I said I should do which is just wait for him to talk to me because he will come back.

And today lol he winked at me and sat around me at lunch. Which is progress not a lot but hey I will take it.

I have noticed that boys actually take a longer time to get over stuff like this than girls...girls can just throw this stuff in the past after they have talked it out but guys hold on to it..hmmm

motto of the day:

"what am i doin', what am i doin'...oh yeah thats right i'm doing me, i'm doing me, i'm livig life right now.." -drake

peace ky

p.s.- so i wanna show ya'll stuff about my life through pictures so ask what u want to know about me and I will see if I can show it through a pic :)

Does anybody feel me??

So I am pretty bored with life right now there is no excitement...

-sports are done for me

-love life is at a flat line because im waiting for college

-and senior year is ending

I can't wait to be in college..no I can't wait for summer

I'm teaching a hip-hop and breaking class to k-6 graders so that will be fun and all summer I will be a jr. high youth leader I'm pumped

plus I'm confused about aaron which is gay

yea today is blehhh

peace ky

no not this!!!

So yea.... I'm having a really hard time not getting emotionally attached to aaron he acting all weird lol. Big surprise I know haha. I am just confused and need some advice for real.

Other than that the district track meet was today and I made finals in long jump and triple but than lost by an inch how retarded is that.....it sucked everyone is going to regionals without me. Tomorrow is the sports banquet that should be fun.


man this aaron thing has really got me tripping out mmm I need to get his attention back but how? whatevs

motto of the day:

  Ima just do me


peace ky

bloggers i need your help one more time.

I'm still working on my research paper about how with popularity comes power. the question I have for ya'll this time is how do teen movies affect your outlook on how popularity should work?

i hope that makes since....

and thank you so much guys :)

Post-prom

heres the whole group
this is my date phil
seniors whoop whoop
we were trying to make the classic laughing pose from prom magazine lol

So I'm pretty much exhausted from last night. Prom was awesome with phil he is such a good dancer he would start dancing around me and then everyone one would start staring. Afterwards was fun too, hung out with aaron. i promised pictures so here they are....

PROM

Let the festivities begin I am officialy starting to get ready sometimes being white is a good thing cause you dont have to spend all day getting ready. My bro is picking my date up at 6 and I am going to meet them at my cousins I will definetly post pictures tomorrow hopefully.

It's gonna be ballin' that is really all i can say.

motto of the day:

You only have one life to live with no regrets

peace ky

frizziidayy

Man I love fridays today was pretty lame though more than half the senior class and junior class didn't show up because most of them are getting weave or something put in. finally figured out what I'm doing after prom which is going to see death at a funeral with aaron and hitting up ihop after..

But that might change because I went to junior ring ceremony to support my bro, and aaron told him he might be able to go to the cabin with me so that would be pretty  ballin'. either way we will be chilling and happy.

Ring ceremony was ballin' I'm proud of my senior class for crashing it in their cars I wish I could have but I was supporting my bro. the things that happened we saw a baby that looked like a howler monkey and then got to see one of the juniors walk really funny in her heels.. and caused chaos in the back row it was entertaining.

well motto of the day:

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.




peace ky

:) YESSSS

Man today was ballin' so I played my last softball game and and got to play all three of my positions center field, first base, and pitcher. I don't know if any of you do this but as a senior it like your final lap around the bases and u slide into home so that was exciting..

Also the other great thing that happened today was aaron and me are finally back to normal at school and in general lol his good friend Tony who is also my friend gave me the two thumbs up when aaron yelled hey sexy across the quad hahaha guys I love them..

I also cleared the rumors about me flowing around school of me being some kind of sexual dynamo because they aren't true...sex I'm sad to say is an area I'm very shy about. Kissing I got that down pat lol never been told I'm bad at that.

Well today was ballin' I dug it.

motto of the day is more of something to think about:

girls will do the physical to get the emotional...boys do the emotional to get the physical

peace ky

hey bloggers i need your help

I'm doing a reasearch paper on teen movies about how your ranking in popularity determines how much power you have in high school.. so if ya'll have any experinces with this please reply and tell me about them so i can use them as secondary sources.

thanks guys.


peace ky

relaxation... :)

Today was pretty legit

softball is almost over and I'm jumping for track in the district meet, I love sports they have the power of freeing your mind of everything and letting go.

Went to VS today and got my lingerie its cute got some seamless stuff to wear under my fitted dress. I definetly love my friends they are so crazy we are all in step club together and today at lunch we spent our time talking about small chest.. they are obsessed with the fact that I'm white and have a butt lol they crazzzy.

so today was good kinda boring but good :)

peacce ky

finally peace

Finally me and aaron are straight almost went down hill last night when he called me and then hung up on me. I had to call him back and truely explain myself, then we spent the next two hours just talking on the phone. lol!! He was like that is something else I called you to fuss at you and now we are just talking like nothing happened....it was nice :)

So it is definetly prom season if no one could tell..I'm actually excited for prom my dress is off the chain I will post a picture later.

School was lame today they sat the senior class down and talked to us about date rape and alcohol poisoning in college..basically moral of the story is that you shouldn't party with people you don't know....Thank you administration for the obvious.

A note to the guys out there don't ask girls to send you pictures off them most of us don't like it...And don't ask us to send you pictures of our lingerie that we bought with friends to make ourselves feel cool as freshman because first of all if they want you to see their lingerie they would want it on their body. crazy male testosterone.. but I love my guys

speaking of lingerie I'm digging black right now so I might go get some tomorrow to bad everywhere u go to get nice lingerie it's a butt load.

OOO let me clear something up I'm not into sex I just like sexy underwear...and this is a random post I think i am too tired.

motto of the day:

If your not living on the edge..your just wasting space

peace ky

the ice is broken.

finally there is talking between me and aaron. apparently last night when he asked me to meet him at the movies my phone decided to be gay n not send me that text till this morning.. well tomorrow at school hopefully all goes well.

I finished my song here it is:

TWISTED REALITY

From the start is the typical high school scene

Clusters of personalty that walk to a normal routine

You got your jocks, arts, norms, and occasional outcast

Within the rush theres the want for something that will outlast.

The search for that is so hard on the heart

the roller coaster of emotions that causes many to dart

To unveil yourself is rare and usually will hurt

The relationship that was built on trust begins to crumble to dust

PRE-CHORUS:

Their slipping away into the game

They don’t know the truth their all the same

i want to catch their breath

let the layers unwind

Who knew being real would twist the mind

CHORUS:

Why can’t we take a second to stop this game

it not working its just leaves us an empty frame

we got to stand up and be strong this can't go on

we cant sit around for long this cant go on

BRIDGE:

no ones alone in breaking the mold

it just takes one to be so bold

our personalities dont belong where we reside

it wont be long till we cant run and hide

hopefully ya'll like it...more importantly hopefully my songwriting teacher likes it. lol

peace ky

ahhh

soo I'm pretty much exhausted didn't sleep last night and have a major stomach ache. Me and Aaron still haven't resolved but he did pick up his phone he was just at french quarter festival and couldn't talk. So I'm off to church our band plays today I'm the bass player its fun.

Yesterday night within all the stress I wrote a new song its almost finished just needs a bridge I will post it when its done. It's about the high school experience issshhh.

thank you!!! to the new people following i appreciate it. Well I will post later today when hopefully aaron talks to me.

peace ky

screw up

so I started today pretty bad so far...

This is my friend aaron and I seriously messed up by accusing him of well.....basically he's the guy from the blog below. So you can guess from there. Well he didn't take it that well obviously, but the problem is I believe him because he was legitly mad.

I feel like I screwed over myself and could be pushing away a guy that actually likes me. I basically dug my own grave. I was scared of him a little because its scary to have a guy who is telling you all the same stuff that a player smoothed you over with. I told him that he just got mad and said to not take guys from my past and accuse him of the same actions, which is true.

Here is one of the things you fellow bloggers should know I am the kind of person that when I get into a fight with a friend it really rips me apart inside because i care a lot about him. So the fact that he is giving me the silent treatment right now is KILLING me!!

So through this whole ordeal so far I have realized number one that yeah it is a possibility that I like aaron and second that I'm finding ways to push him away, so I don't have to commit emotionally. So how do I tell him that? I have ticked him off enough already. well I'm going to wait till tonight if he hasn't texted me back I will call him, hopefully thats a good idea.

Bottom line I can be really retarded. Does anybody have advice??

quote for today...

That wolf might cry wolf, but you still have to see that wolf's teeth.

peace ky  

craziness

hello to whoever reads,

First off my name is kylie I'm new to the blogging community but I thought it would be a good way to get advice and let go..so I'm ready to get right to it.

Today at school I found out that the guy I'm talking to... not going to lie messing around with is hooking up with other girls. The messed up part I feel bad for the other girl because I'm about to leave for college and don't want to have the emotional commitment before I leave. This girl is telling me all the stuff he does to her and with her and I'm like he does the same. The difference I actually was happy to know I was right about this guy because I dated a guy that cheated on me super bad with my best friend and told me all the same stuff as this guy. So right off the bat I was like I'm either going to teach him a lesson(we all know thats impossible with teenage guys though) or have fun, so I'm doing both. Guys are what I do that sounds weird but I have never had strong friends that are girls, I have grown up around guys I know a lot about them.

Is it wrong of me to want to turn the tables on this guy before I leave for college because this other girl he is talking to deserves a chance and he needs to know he cant get everything without commitment...Don't get me wrong I know I'm basically ramming my head into a wall but my guy friends love me for what I show them and he really is just a friend..

so whats the motto of the day....

Don't be to sure that your playing someone because that someone could know your cards and be playing yours and theirs.

peace ky